Friday, April 15, 2011

Home is where the hut is?

Note: this was written a week prior to posting
I am currently sitting in the Johannesburg airport in the domestic terminal waiting a flight to Cape Town where I will reunited with my Dad and stepmom for the next 5 days. I've been excited for this trip for awhile because well, it CAPE TOWN- the arguably premier destination of Southern Africa and more importantly I get to see my family,who I haven't seen for over a year. However, I had a lot going on at site and so I feel like only now can I really take a step back, breathe, and realize that I'm about to go on vacation...this is a completely different feeling than I felt during the holiday season where I couldn't wait to have a break from the village and Zambia. I mean don't get me wrong I am more than happy to go on vacation any time but I definitely didn't have the “I need to get out feeling.” Which is a good thing.


When I was filling out the Zambian customs forms in December and the question of residence was asked I'll admit, I did feel a little bit uncomfortable writing Zambia. I had never before really considered the fact that although I was an American citizen I was no longer residing in America. This trip however, the question didn't even faze me...country of residence? Of course it would be Zambia, where else would it be? My home right now is in Zambia. I work in Zambia. My friends that I see everyday are in Zambia, they may primarily be under the age of 10 and run around barefoot, covered in dirt for the majority of the day but it still remains that they are Zambian and my friends.

I had heard before I came to Peace Corps. that the first year is the toughest and things get progressively easier after that and I can't really say that things have gotten easier but my comfort level in dealing with various issues, annoyances, and problems has definitely increased after being here for a year. I think I've learned to accept the things I can't change and focus my attention and energy on the places I think I can influence. I don't know what exactly has changed since I moved to site about a year ago but something did. My home changed from being a hut I had to live in to my house that I get to home to every night. My village and catchment area changed from being a place where I had to stay for 2 years to being a community where I work, live, and have friends in. And while I still have bad moments, and trying times I usually can't say a day is all bad because my kids have taken to running up to me as soon as I get off my bike in the afternoon and giving me hugs.

The fact that this experience will end has also hit home a bit lately and I am trying to appreciate every second that I have in my village. I absolutely cannot believe that I have been in my village a year. Its been incredibly fast and I feel like every day time goes by faster and faster. I wish I could slow it down because even though I have a year left I still feel like that its not enough. Also, the group of volunteers in the same programs as my intake are about to COS (completion of service). They trained us, we went on site visits with them and they have been there for us during the past year, since we've been in country and they are about to go home. Its definitely weird for them to leave because when I first entered country they still had a year left and at the time that felt like an incredibly long time, but its over, its their time to go home. Also, I had a very good friend of mine get medically separated this past month because of medical issues that incurred during her service. It was really upsetting because not only did nobody want her to go home, but she really didn't want to leave and wasn't ready for this experience to be over. So both of those issues have impacted my thoughts on the temporary nature of my service. So while I fully understand that I will go back to US at some point I am trying to make the most of each day here with the people that I care about. I'm trying to play even more with my kids and spend time and meals with more of my friends and neighbors because one day that won't be an option for me anymore.

So while I am ecstatic to see my Dad I know that my happiness doesn't rest on the fact that he is taking me on vacation and that I have a home waiting for me at the end of the week when I go back...because isn't the one of the best parts of any vacation returning home again?